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Keyword: ‘chicken’

Steak Fries

March 11th, 2013 David No comments

steakhouse fries 028 Steak Fries

When we lived in East Nashville what now seems like ages ago, every now and then, we’d stop by this Meat and Three right down the road from our house for some serious soul food. I always went in with an open mind to try something new on her menu, but when it came time to order, I’d inevitably cave and order the same thing with the same side – her wonderful fries. Thick, Texas-sized wedges of russet potatoes that were reverently lowered into hot oil and fried until they were nice and crispy on the outside and creamy and tender on the inside. My version is baked, not fried. And the results? Sensational. The perfect side for a juicy steak. Or a thick cheeseburger. Or with chicken nuggets. Or with fish sticks. Or by themselves, enthusiastically dunked in some spicy ketchup. Or in some ranch dressing. Or blue cheese dressing! Well, you get the picture.

Link

For the Most Flavorful Steaks, Check for Marbling (and Other Steak Grilling Tips)

July 16th, 2012 David No comments
original For the Most Flavorful Steaks, Check for Marbling (and Other Steak Grilling Tips)
BY MELANIE PINOLAMAY 15, 2012 11:00 AM

If you want the juiciest, most flavorful steak you can cook, look for plenty of fat throughout the meat. Serious Eats’ guide to grilling steak says marbling is a more important quality to look for than just the grade of the beef (Prime, Choice, or Select).

Why is this? Well, that marbling is responsible for both moisture and that beefy flavor:

As well-marbled meat cooks, the fat will slowly melt, adding juiciness built right into the meat. Non-marbled meat might have plenty of fat on the exterior, but it doesn’t enhance the steak in the same way. Sort of like the difference between drinking a glass of chocolate milk or drinking the milk then shooting the chocolate syrup.

Flavorwise, almost all of the compounds our tongues sense that give us the thought “ooh, that’s beefy” are found in the fat. In fact, if you take the fat out of a piece of beef and replace it with lamb fat, it’ll taste like lamb. Want chicken-flavored beef? Cook lean beef in chicken fat.

J. Kenji López-Alt also offers 10 Other tips for cooking a perfect steak, particularly on the grill. Many of the tips we’ve mentioned before, such as turning the meat often for more even cooking and to reduce cooking timesalting your steak well in advance, and letting that steak rest.

Go bookmark the article for future reference this grilling season.

[LINK]

 

Categories: Man Food Tags: , , , , , , , ,

5 spaghetti sauces

May 27th, 2012 David No comments

spaghetti sauce 5 ways

 

 5 spaghetti sauces

Yesterday morning I woke up thinking, “Oh, what a wonderfully normal day it is today! I’m sure it will be filled with honesty and truthfulness.”

Oh how wrong I was.

It started out when I came downstairs to get breakfast, and Boots asked me to get him a drink.

“Get it yourself, you invalid.”

“Yammieeeee. Please. I can’t reach.”

“Here’s a cup, you pygmy. Now get your own water and let me wake up in peace.”

He finally realized that it was a lost cause and threw the empty cup at my head and grumbled away into the living room.

I sat down at the table and began crunching down my toast just as Nemo walked in and decided to get herself a drink. As soon as she turned on the faucet, I was unpleasantly surprised by a torrent of water in the face. I looked from the rubber band around the sink spray head to my soggy toast.

Oh yeah. April Fool’s Day. My worst favorite holiday of the whole year.

 5 spaghetti sauces

Luckily nobody did anything too evil this year. Cookie had one of my favorites…

Creative.

But Bellie got her back. She went and found Cookie’s old cast from when she broke her leg last year (um… why do we still have that?) and calmly said, “Cookie, the doctor said you have to put this back on now.”

She was pretty freaked out.

Then I made Boots a french toast and Nemo said, “Wait, did you give him the one with the dead ants in it?”

“Oh yeah! Boots, did you actually eat that?”

His reaction was gold. His eyebrows furrowed menacingly, his breathing came hard through his flared nostrils, and he slowly lifted up his plate, clearly intending to splatter the syrupy remains across the room.

Anyways, here’s something real.

 5 spaghetti sauces

This is a basic and very versatile recipe for spaghetti sauce. It’s soooo much better than the jarred stuff. Seriously, you will never buy it again. Adding all the herbs gives it a lot of flavor and the carrots give it some sweetness. Plus, they are just so many ways to have it. Leave it chunky or puree it with an immersion blender. Add meat or keep it vegetarian. Bake it on parmesan crusted chicken or toss it with some noodles drenched in browned butter. Add some mushrooms or a little cream. You’re only as limited as your imagination.

 5 spaghetti sauces

 

Basic Spaghetti Sauce

2 tablespoons olive oil
2 carrots, peeled and chopped up small
1/2 red bell pepper, chopped
1/2 of a white onion, chopped
5 cloves garlic, minced
5 tablespoons tomato paste
28 oz. canned, chopped tomatoes
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon basil
1 teaspoon rosemary,
1 teaspoon sage
2 teaspoon parsely
1 teaspoon thyme
1 teaspoon oregano
2 bay leaves
1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika

heat up the oil over medium high heat in a pot. Add the carrots, onion, red pepper, and garlic. Cook for about 10 minutes or until tender. Add all of the remaining ingredients and mix it up well. If it tastes too acidic, add a tablespoon of brown sugar at a time. If it tastes two sweet, add a half tablespoon of apple cider vinegar at a time. Reduce heat to low and simmer for about an hour. Serve as is over pasta as a chunky sauce.

For smooth spaghetti sauce: puree with an immersion blender or in batches in a regular blender until smooth.

For Bolognese sauce: Season a couple pounds of ground beef generously with salt, pepper, basil, rosemary, sage, parsely, thyme, oregano, and smoked paprika. Cook in a skillet until browned and drain. Puree spaghetti sauce and toss the beef in it. Serve over pasta.

For creamy spaghetti sauce: Puree the sauce and add about 1/4 cup of cream (or as much as you want, just pour it in slowly) and mix it up.

For mushroom spaghetti sauce: Add in about a cup of fresh mushrooms at the beginning with the carrots and onions. Can be served smooth or chunky.

You get the picture. Just be creative.

 5 spaghetti sauces
Now I’m going to get off the computer and do some real life stuff and not get on Pinterest at all.
Categories: Man Food Tags: , ,

Carmelized Sweet & Sour Buffallo Wings

March 28th, 2012 David No comments

Snow 3s Carmelized Sweet & Sour Buffallo Wings

It was last weekend that they started to make a path on the frozen lake and ice skating place near the school. There are already many people skiing, skating and enjoying the fresh snow with their family.

While I was dreaming for my favorite celebrity TV chef, the cool Anthony Bourdain to come to Kuopio. He was in Helsinki several days back for his show. But I wasn’t lucky, he didn’t turn up icon sad Carmelized Sweet & Sour Buffallo Wings

Caramelized Chicken 4 Carmelized Sweet & Sour Buffallo Wings

Caramelized Chicken 8 Carmelized Sweet & Sour Buffallo Wings

Well, life goes on. I still cooked despite the frustration icon biggrin Carmelized Sweet & Sour Buffallo Wings

I needed something hot and spicy to warm me up and get my brain to work. Especially in the weekend icon wink Carmelized Sweet & Sour Buffallo Wings

I took out some chicken wings and decided to make this. Caramelized sweet and spicy chicken, baked in the oven.

Lovely.

 

Fruit Salad 3 Carmelized Sweet & Sour Buffallo Wings

Caramelized Chicken 6 Carmelized Sweet & Sour Buffallo Wings

I generously added chilli flakes to coat the chicken wings. You could of course reduce it according to your taste.

This might be quite hot especially for children.

Caramelized Chicken 7 Carmelized Sweet & Sour Buffallo Wings

Fruit Salad 1 Carmelized Sweet & Sour Buffallo Wings

 

Fruit Salad 5 Carmelized Sweet & Sour Buffallo Wings

I also prepared some fruit salad to serve along the chicken. I bought several types of colorful fruits to make this.

Avocado, pomegranate, mandarin, grapes, apples… I just couldn’t wait to get started icon smile Carmelized Sweet & Sour Buffallo Wings

Caramelized Chicken 11 Carmelized Sweet & Sour Buffallo Wings

Caramelized Chicken 9 Carmelized Sweet & Sour Buffallo Wings

Fruit Salad 4 Carmelized Sweet & Sour Buffallo Wings

I prepared some simple salad dressing and topped it with parmesan cheese.

Caramelized Chicken 10 Carmelized Sweet & Sour Buffallo Wings

 

Snow 9s Carmelized Sweet & Sour Buffallo Wings

Mikael sayang Carmelized Sweet & Sour Buffallo Wings

After lunch, we went out for a short walk on the lake.

Mikael was running and laughing while pulling his sledge around. He was so extremely happy.

It’s getting colder now, reaching -11 C today. It looks like the real winter is finally here icon biggrin Carmelized Sweet & Sour Buffallo Wings

Caramelized Sweet and Spicy Chicken

  • 10 chicken wings, cut at joins
  • For marinade:
  • 4 tbsp tomato sauce
  • 4 tbsp chilli sauce
  • 2 garlic, crushed
  • 2 tbsp honey
  • 2 tsp chilli flakes
  • 1 tsp chilli powder/chilli paste
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • a pinch of black pepper
  1. Prepare the marinade by mixing all ingredients in a big bowl. Coat the chicken wings well in the marinade and keep in fridge for at least 3o minutes.
  2. Arrange them on baking paper and bake in 200 C pre heated oven for 30-35 minutes. If you are using drumstick, bake for 45 minutes.
  3. Serve hot.

SpyNet Laser Trip Wire

January 6th, 2012 David No comments

Spynet Laser Wire Trip SpyNet Laser Trip Wire

Keeping the dog out of the garbage can or your cat from going through your underwear generally calls for a lock and key scenario.  But that’s hardly a geeky answer and won’t condition Rex to think twice before he digs through bacon grease and chicken bones.

Enter the SpyNet Laser Trip Wire.  Yup, the same tech we grew up watching in movies – Catherine Zeta Jones comes to mind – is now ready for your kitchen, living room, heck even your cubicle.

The system includes a transmitter that beams a laser to a receiver unit, as well as 2 mirror units to expand its reach around corners and through door ways.  If someone, or something crosses its path an audible alert will be sounded, notifying you that there is an intruder in your midst.  You’ll need 6 AAA batteries to power this setup, but they should last up to 5-10 hours with continuous use, at least that’s our best guess based on our laser experience.

ThinkGeek sells it for $34.99.

Categories: Menu, Tech Tags: , , , , , ,

Grill Top Pizza Stone Set

December 24th, 2011 David No comments

grill pizza stone set Grill Top Pizza Stone Set

We absolutely do not accept the end of summer. We plan on cooking BBQ all winter, especially homemade grilled pizza. The grill Top Pizza Stone Set ($28) will help us make kick-A BBQ chicken and margarita pizzas. Two points if you make the crust on your own. That’s one e-spicy pizza!

Categories: Uncategorized Tags:

Takeout Makeover: General Tso’s Chicken

December 17th, 2011 David No comments
general tso 1 Takeout Makeover: General Tsos Chicken

General Tso’s chicken is a popular Americanized Chinese take out dish that is super delicious and also super terrible for you. Battered and fried chunks of chicken thighs are tossed with a spicy and sweet sauce and usually served over white rice. I have always loved this tasty dish, but avoided it because of the high calorie, fat and sodium content. It seemed this was the perfect recipe for my next takeout makeover. Instead of deep frying dark meat, I baked some lean chicken breast and topped it with my own sauce, which is light on the sugar and sodium, while packing quite a spicy punch. I put this dish together in 20 minutes, so it’s fast and easy for a weeknight. I apologize for the lack of step by step photos – my camera battery died while I was cooking this. The best part, one serving of this dish has only 236 calories! Pair it with some steamed broccoli and brown rice and you have a healthy and filling dinner.

Read more for the full recipe!

general tso 3 Takeout Makeover: General Tsos Chicken

Ingredients:
1lb boneless skinless chicken breast, cut into 1″ chunks
2 tbsp + 1 tsp cornstarch, divided
1 tbsp minced garlic
1 tbsp minced ginger
1/4 cup low sodium soy sauce
1/4 cup low sodium chicken broth (or veggie broth)
1 tbsp hoisin sauce
1 tbsp rice wine vinegar
1 tsp chili oil (or sesame oil)
1 tsp honey
2 tbsp tomato paste
scallions, sliced
2 tbsp white sesame seeds
optional: 1 tbsp dried thai chilies

Step by Step Instructions:
1. Preheat oven to 375
2. Toss chunks of chicken with 2 tbsp corn starch
3. On a cookie sheet, spread chicken chunks into a single layer
4. Bake chicken for 12-15 minutes, until cooked through
5. In a medium saucepan, combine garlic, ginger and chili oil, saute for 2 minutes
6. Add soy sauce, broth, vinegar, honey, tomato paste and hoisin sauce
7. Simmer mixture on medium heat for 4-5 minutes
8. Dissolve 1 tsp of cornstarch in 1/4 cup of cold water
9. Add cornstarch to sauce mixture, stirring
10. Continue to simmer sauce for another 3-4 minutes, until it begins to thicken
11. Toss cooked chicken with sauce, coating thoroughly
12. Serve chicken with 1 tbsp sesame seeds and scallions



Nutrition Info: makes 4 servings
236 calories
28g Protein
7g Fat

 Takeout Makeover: General Tsos Chicken
Categories: Uncategorized Tags:

Funny Facebook & Twitter Statuses

November 21st, 2011 David No comments

Funny Facebook & Twitter statuses are a great way to brighten up your social networking profile page. If you are looking for Facebook Status then your search ends here, you have landed on the right page. This article is all about very funny Facebook status messages that have been written by real people. You will find here all Funniest Facebook Status, just read the full collection of the funny facebook statuses.

 

  • decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
  • One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
  • When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
  • I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
  • sometimes, not remembering mey be the better.
  • X says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
  • X is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube… This could take a while.
  • X is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house.
  • What is fat, ginger and pregnant? Nothing..
  • slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.
  • wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.
  • X is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
  • People say that love is in every corner……gosh! maybe i’m moving in circles..
  • Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
  • Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
  • WARNING: Objects in mirror are fatter than they appear.
  • ║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95
  • Dear Santa, let me explain…
  • I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.
  • My wife said I’m too immature and if I don’t grow up it’s going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.
  • If guys had periods, they’d brag about the size of their tampons.
  • Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married.
  • Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
  • Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
  • Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.
  • ٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶
  • _̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡
  • if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP
  • scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.
  • ̿̿̿ ̿’ ̿’̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ this is a stick-up… give me ALL yo [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]!
  • Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
  • The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
  • Boys are like baby diapers when they get to be filled with shit they are thrown to be replaced.
  • i’ve yet to meet a woman who got pregnant from swallowing.
  • Cut here —————–✄———————-
  • Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart.
  • I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
  • People who write diet books live off the fat of the land.
  • Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
  • Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
  • best Friends Listen to what you dont say.
  • Just wanted to let you know that you are my BFBFF… Best Facebook Friend Forever..
  • So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.
  • X thinks that Facebook is the compost heap for my brain.
  • Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don’t know when.
  • You miss 100 percent of the shots u never take.
  • Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
  • I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.
  • Sometimes? Late at night? I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
  • I guess if you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless, huh?
  • X thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
  • Alcohol does NOT make you fat…it makes you lean…against tables,chairs,walls, floors and ….Ugly people!!!
  • what has two ears and cant hear? —————–.> GRANDPA
  • I’m not a racer….But i can fly.
  • press the star below and watch it glow icon smile Funny Facebook & Twitter Statuses
  • ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ click star then up arrow to left to reveal status.
  • I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.
  • Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
  • X is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of “liking” my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I’m awesome..
  • Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.
  • I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.
  • X just received a coupon in the mail: buy one sock, get one free! While socks last.
  • X believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.
  • ¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ
  • Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
  • oh I’m sorry! i didn’t realise you were giving me a dirty look…i just thought you were ugly like that all the time!!
  • wants to merge MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.
  • X says don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
  • Is anyone going to put anything funny on here?????
  • If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each Other.
  • eat eat and eat….but don’t eat my brain.
  • I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she’s been giving me lately!
  • a guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local primary school’s pool. I went away and came back with a cup of water….. Is that wrong?
  • ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
  • All men are born free and equal. If they go and get married, that’s their own fault.
  • too cool for school.
  • trying to think of clever things to say after inhaling from a helium balloon.
  • the kid next door’s imaginary friend.
  • –^v–^v–^v–^v-_____^v–^v–^v– For a second there, I was bored to death.
  • definitely not watching what not to wear.
  • forcing my dog to learn how to google.
  • kissing a girl and may or may not be liking it.
  • Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with “according to the prophecy”
  • X is Loading ████████████ 99%
  • Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
  • U have 10 Fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one. Fish cant Drown.
  • X went to the book store earlier to buy a ‘Where’s Wally’ book. When I got there, I couldn’t find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played.
  • Hi, my name is Damimeve. The ‘mime’ is silent.
  • I’ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming “CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!” when they have nightmares.
  • In an interview, “I can multitask housework with facebook!”
  • X is coloring on your wall! ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>
  • never judges a book by its cover. She uses the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
  • a day late and a dollar short.
  • Insert coin to view my status message.
  • If somebody offers you a lifetime supply of candy and there is just one piece, don’t eat it: It’s probably poison.
  • We have so much in common. You want to travel,I want you to go .
  • happy that you finally broke up with that slut. Now I can tell you VIA facebook update that I boinked her.
  • seen pictures of you naked on the internet.
  • remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.
  • > $20 in my bank acct. Drinks on you home.
  • 20/20 hearing!

I know the world isn’t going 2 end in 2012 cuz my yogurt expires in 2013!

I like to name my ipod ‘Titanic’ so when it says ‘Syncing Titanic’ i click cancel and it makes me feel like a hero.

Whats the difference between Justin Bieber And a Snickers bar? A snIckers bar has nuts.

Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like

Is wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?

I love it when my computer says ” are you sure you want to continue unprotected ”

Roses are redish, Violets are blueish, if it weren’t for Christmas, we would all be Jewish!

why do we need school???
music~we have YouTube for that.
Spanish ~i watch Dora.
English ~everything is shortened anyway (brb,idk,lol).
geography~i will buy a globe.
history~they are all dead anyway.
math~that is why we have the calculator.
spelling~we have spell check on the computer.

People make the world go around but at some point don’t you wish it were flat so all the idiots would keep walking and never come back?

NEVER trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.

I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, “Hello?” As if the bad guy is gonna be like, “Yeah, I`m in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?”

what’s the difference between puberty & a water bottle? a water bottle hit Justin Bieber first! (;

Going to McDonalds for salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.

Roses are Red, Nuts are brown, Skirts go Up, Pants go Down, Body to Body, Skin to Skin, When it is Stiff, Stick it In, The Longer its In, The stronger it Gets, It goes in Dry, Comes out Wet, It comes out dripping,and it starts to Sag, Its not what you Think …its a Teabag xD

Mrs. Bin Laden just updated her Facebook status to single.

Sometimes your Knight in shinning armour is just an idiot wrapped in tinfoil.

We guys have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see us without an erection, make us a sandwich ! icon smile Funny Facebook & Twitter Statuses

Me and my mom were shopping for new Cd’s and she asked me..
Mom: honey, Who’s your favorite artist?
Me: Eminem
Mom: The candy?
Me: no the rapper
Mom:What’s so special good about Candy Wrappers?

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrehea…does that mean one person enjoys it?

status: I can’t log into facebook icon sad Funny Facebook & Twitter Statuses

A bug just landed on my computer screen and my first reaction was on try and scare it away with the curser

*BLOND GOES TO THE DOCTOR TO FIND OUT IF SHE IS PREGNENT*
Doctor: your pregnent
Blond: *smiles* icon smile Funny Facebook & Twitter Statuses
Doctor: your having twins
Blond: *crys*
Doctor: is’ant that good?
Blond: i dont know who the father is for the other baby
Doctor: LUCKY IM A BRUNETTE !!!!!!!

Your make-up looks so pretty:) lol jk it looks like a crayola raped your face!!!

My friends status said, “standing on the edge of a cliff :/”…so i poked him.

Have you ever looked at someone and thought to yourself “Dude, that’s the sperm that won???”

Sometimes i fill up my blow up doll with helium so its playing hard to get.

i know three facts about you, one you can’t say M without your lips touching, two your trying it now and you look like an idiot alien, three now your smiling

Sorry, Ke$ha the party dont stop till I walk in.

Last Night I Dreamt I was Eating A Giant Marshmallow……..When I Woke Up My Pillow Was Gone.

How much coke has Charlie Sheen done?……………enough to kill 2 1/2 men….

I love how justin bieber can hit high notes but not puberty!

Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours, belongs in the zoo, don’t be mad, i’ll be there, not in the cage, but laughing at you.

Relationships are like Tom & Jerry: They tease each other, knock down each other, irritate each other, but can’t live without each other.

I WISH i could be a status, so you could LIKE me .

I tried to log on to Facebook. It said, “Cookies are required to operate.” I thought to myself, “Me too, Facebook. Me too.”

Got into a fight with my alarm clock this morning it wanted me to wake up i disagreed now the alarms broken and im wide awake…not sure who won.

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was “You’ll never find anyone like me again!” I’m thinking, “I should hope not! If I don’t want you, why would I want someone like you.

A kid got bad marks in his test, he showed his test to his mom. His mom said ” what is this”? He answered teachers star stickers were finished so she gave me a full moon!!!

Please copy and paste this to your status if you know someone, or have been affected by someone who needs a punch in the face. People who need a punch in the face affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for someone who deserves a punch in the face, except for a punch in the face. But we can still raise awareness!

One day a chicken croxed the road and met james bond and said whats your name?? ….bond james bond… whats yours??..ken chick ken!

Behind every great woman is a man looking at her ass!

Don’t ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself

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Top 10 Skills to Master Your Grill

July 4th, 2011 David No comments

77363 32 Top 10 Skills to Master Your Grill Kevin Purdygrilling splash Top 10 Skills to Master Your GrillThere’s something about grilling food outdoors that’s both exhilarating and terrifying. It’s great to commune with your food in such a straight-up way, but what if it goes wrong? We’re here to help overcome your fear of the flame, or step up your grilling game, with these 10 techniques.

Photo by adactio.

10. DIY marinades

Learn the Basic Chemistry of Marinades Top 10 Skills to Master Your GrillNot every cut can be filet mignon, and some meats, like pork, almost always deserve a lengthy dip in some flavor-infusing sweet and salty stuff. Your grocery store wants to sell you a 12 oz. bottle of sickly-sweet stuff for a hefty markup. But you’ve got oil, acids, and flavoring agents at home, so learn to make a basic marinade, and open up your grill to a whole cabinet of ideas. You won’t turn super-tough meat into tender tournadoes, but you’ll learn a lot about how to impart flavor to big, seemingly impenetrable cuts of the good stuff.

9. steak improvement through salt

Salt and Cheap Steak Top 10 Skills to Master Your GrillIt makes your grandmother cry, but totally covering cheap, firm meat with salt, especially cheaper cuts of steak, just an hour before grilling or otherwise cooking is like giving it a really, really deep Shiatsu rubdown. The salt you cover the surface with—and then wipe off, rinse, and pat dry—denaturizes the long protein strands and mixes up the moisture spread in your steak. That turns them, in the Steamy Kitchen blog’s words, from cheap “choice” steak into Gucci “Prime” steak.

8. Chill soda, beer, or wine in two minutes

Waiting for meat to cook leaves you with a good amount of time to stand around and, well, drink something. But what if you forgot to drop your Coke/Sam Adams/Pinot grigio in the cooler or fridge before you cranked up the coals? Mythbuster Adam Savage, one of our favorite interviewees, explains a last-minute chilling technique at Metafilter: Spin it around in some heavily salted ice water. Savage claims it’s based in science instead of backyard lore, and I believe him—it’s amazed many a dinner party host with a “I forgot to” dilemma.

7. Easy grill cleaning

Clean Your Grill with an Onion Top 10 Skills to Master Your GrillMaybe you’re pulling out the grilling can for the first time this weekend, and … eee-yuck. Here’s what you do. Swipe off whatever big, grungy stuff you can with a stiff (preferably wire) brush and then toss it in your oven on self-clean. Now that a majority of the tough stuff is off, or at least loosened, you probably won’t have to swing for any specialty tools—a wad of aluminum foil can suffice. For light, between-meal cleaning, rubbing a face-down half onion on a heated grill is an eco-friendly way to get in and around the bars without burning your hands or leaving non-compatible scents for your food.

6. Use your broiler as a backup

nytimes chicken Top 10 Skills to Master Your GrillUnless you live in Hawaii, you really can’t count on the weather to hold for your grilling just because you bought buns and paper plates. If it’s just a drizzle and you can make do with the garage door open, go to it. If the weather or temperature really put a crimp in your style, or you just lack for grill space, consider braising and browning with your broiler. Slow-cooking the food in liquid, then crisping the exterior with a quick broil, gives you surprisingly grill-like results. For big groups or days when it just doesn’t seem like standing outside is feasible, consider the tiny grill your already own in your kitchen.

5. Get started with smoking

kettle smoker Top 10 Skills to Master Your GrillThere exists a comfortable middle ground between having spent a summer working for the barbecue kings of Kansas City and just wanting a little hickory flavor in your food. Hank Shaw, who’s one serious meat fan, knows exactly where that sweet spot. Using just two grocery-store-standard aluminum pans and some wood chips, he turns a kettle grill into a smoker, one that turns out certifiably tasty ribs with real smoke flavor. Like any barbecue exercise, the real secret ingredients are time, patience, and a tasty rub or sauce.

4. Make your own BBQ sauce

diy bbq sauce Top 10 Skills to Master Your GrillYou’ve already put the time and care into tending to your flame, your meat, and your sides, so why settle for a bottle of stuff found next to the ketchup, laced with corn syrup? The BBQ Recipe Secrets blog runs down three basic sauces, covering the traditional tomato sauce, a Carolina-esque vinegar version, and a basic mustard variant. We’ve made this tomato sauce template and been happy to tweak it in different ways, which you can, too. Photo by INeedCoffee / CoffeeHero.

3. Use a cheat sheet

cheat sheet Top 10 Skills to Master Your GrillWe like Real Simple’s grid-style grilling cheat sheet, as it provides both basic, reassuring timings for a standard grill that won’t leave anyone with undercooked food, and won’t turn out dried-out cinders or hockey pucks, either. It also helps you arrange items across your cooking surface, as you move items from direct flame heat to indirect, ambient cooking. Got another favorite, printable guide? Link it for everyone in the comments.

2. know when meat is done

Five Finger Palm Steak Technique Top 10 Skills to Master Your GrillUnless you’ve got a serious instant-read thermometer, it’s a pain to keep stabbing your meal-to-be, or, even worse, cut it open, to determine just when it’s just at the edge of safe to eat. Skip the torture and use your hands. By touching your thumb to each of your fingers, and then pressing on your thumb muscle as it changes firmness, you’ll get an idea of how your steak should feel, moving from rare to well done as your thumb muscle moves from your index to your pinky finger. Whole chickens are a similar matter of intuitive touch, or, actually, a twist of the chicken leg. If the leg won’t move, it’s not quite ready—you want there to be a slight amount of tension, and then feel the joints release as you apply soft pressure.

1. perfect burgers

How to grill a perfect burger Top 10 Skills to Master Your GrillWe asked and our commenters responded about what makes the perfect grilled burger: Good meat, preferably ground while you watch, kept at room temperature right before grilling, and not pressed and overly handled. We’d just add that you shouldn’t try to compress your homemade patties into chain-restaurant-style discs, and that seasoning your patties with salt and pepper right before they hit the heat makes a big difference.


Our list covers a lot of what the average griller would cook up for their friends or family, but we’re certainly open to suggestions—especially vegetarian ideas and technique suggestions. And be sure to check out last year’s guide to becoming the memorial day grill master for more techniques and basic starter tips.

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20 Things That Will Be More Expensive in 2011

December 31st, 2010 David No comments

prices 20 Things That Will Be More Expensive in 2011the cost of technology goes down steadily, making HDTVs and Blu-ray players today a much better deal than they were a year ago. It’s too bad that most other things rise in price. Don’t say you weren’t forewarned! Here’s a list of 20 things that will most likely cost more in 2011, presented to you with plenty of time to stock up now.

  1. car insurance — Rates are now at an average of $1,000 per year, but going up faster than inflation. That’s especially so because insurers are adding on new high-tech monitoring abilities and pass along the costs. So not only are you going to pay more, but your privacy controls are going to go down.
  2. Chocolate — There is a veritable chocolate crisis going on in the world, and that has as much to do with global finance as it does to do with weather. Cocoa is at a 30-year high and demand is only growing. Expect to see fancier presentations even of basic chocolate — meaning smaller boxes for bigger prices.
  3. VoIP services — Now that taxes have hit the voice-over-IP market, rates go up as fast — or faster — than the traditional telephone service providers. It doesn’t help that new free VoIP services over smartphones provide killer competition. Expect struggling companies, like Vonage, to keep raising rates directly, and or just tacking on extra fees.
  4. Airfare — Even if you see an abundance of ads for $1 fares and the like, don’t believe the hype. The total cost for traveling on an airplane is going up, and will continue to go up in 2011. Airlines have had such success with added fees for baggage, seating, snacks and blankets, that they’re not yet done imagining other things to charge you extra.
  5. Cars — The heavy discounting that was prevalent during the recession and crises among carmakers is past now, so expect to pay more if you want to buy a new or a used car in 2011. sales are up so far in 2010, and that means that carmakers are not as desperate as they once were. And don’t expect a bailout from the Feds.
  6. Nintendo 3DS — The 3DS is coming, and it’s not going to be cheap! The price will likely be in the $300 range in the U.S., based on the pricing announced in Japan for the February release of the device. That’s a lot more than any other hand-held gaming device on the market. What will you get for your money? An 8-ounce hand-held game system with great resolution, three cameras, and wireless connectivity.
  7. Health Insurance — It’s a no-brainer that health care costs are going up, so if you haven’t been paying attention through the last several elections, you’re going to have sticker shock come your next open enrollment period in 2011. Brace yourself, and review the recent changes to the law in the health care reform bill.
  8. Breakfast — Grain prices have been skyrocketing, and that’s going to have an effect on your morning cereal, your milk, your eggs and your bacon. The cows, hogs, chickens and food processors are all competing for the same product and driving prices up.
  9. Coffee — The world’s coffee supply is contracting, and prices are soaring. Coffee futures jumped 40% last year, and there’s no end in sight for the rise. Even the smallest coffee shops are being hit by the price increases, meaning a more expensive cup of Joe for you.
  10. Music — In all the great excitement about the Beatles finally coming to iTunes, it probably escaped the notice of a lot of people that individual songs were priced at $1.29, not the typical 99-cents of the last few years. Don’t think that’s just because it’s the Beatles. Apple starting raising prices in 2009, and you’ll be seeing prices edge higher throughout 2011 on digital music-buying sites.
  11. Dollar Menus — This change has been coming for a while, but the fast food chains have been reluctant to pull the trigger once and for all to up the cost of their value menus to more than a dollar. McDonald’s has already started to dismantle its dollar Menu, and it’s going to happen wholesale pretty soon.
  12. Credit cards — Thought credit card reform measures would mean it would cost less for you to use your credit cards? Think again. Just like the airline industry tacking on extra fees, credit card issuers are making up any deficit from the new rules in other fees that they’re still allowed to charge. And in some cases, they’re doubling-down, meaning it’s costing you more.
  13. Refinancing — The dream of “no-cost” refinancing is a lost cause these days, when banks are clamoring for any fee they can possibly get and the housing market is still in the dumps. Coming up in 2011, you’re going to pay more upfront for refinancing, which may make it hard to fathom even though interest rates remain low.
  14. Sports Ticket Prices — Almost every major league sports — and a lot of minor league ones too — are still passing along the costs of new stadiums and extras to their customers. For the Yankees, for example, that means tickets will be up 47% for non-premium seats in 2011. The most expensive field-level seats will be $260.
  15. College Tuition — There is no end to the rise in college tuition, it’s one of those things that just keeps going up and up and up, way faster than inflation. That’s particularly daunting at time when savings accounts are depleted and so many parents are out of work. For the 2010-11 school year, tuitions are up almost 8% from the previous year for public 4-year colleges and 4.5% at private colleges. That will only go up again for the 2011-12 school year.
  16. water Rates — Check any municipality in the United States and you’ll likely find residents with higher water bills in 2011. It’s a factor of the economy, and cities having to squeeze money out of every stone.
  17. Postage Rates — Even if the post office says there will be no more postal rate hikes soon, do you believe them? The USPS is actually fighting for a 5.6% increase in rates, which was denied by the Postal Regulatory Commission. Don’t bet on that ruling sticking for very long, so stock up now on Forever stamps.
  18. Gold — You might have thought Cash4Gold sites were cheesy scams, but you might think about melting down some of your old jewelry if you’re watching this commodity. Prices per ounce just keep going up and up. It’s a bit of a roller coaster ride if you’re looking for an investment, but if you’re thinking about selling some gold, 2011 will be a good time.
  19. Ammunition — You might not think of ammunition prices as something to worry about, but if you’re a hunter or if you’re concerned about the budget of your local police precinct or the nation’s miliary, you might want to pay attention. Ammo prices have been going up steadily over the past several years, and will rise again in 2011, all because the metals they’re made of are going up in price and the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan are increasing demand.
  20. movie Ticket Prices — Movie ticket prices go up every year, but 2011 could be a time of major increases for two key reasons: online streaming and 3D. The popularity of streaming movies through subscription services like Netflix has cut deeply into movie studio profits from DVD sales and from cable OnDemand purchases, so they have to make up the difference somewhere. The advent of 3D means that studios can tack on extra fees for the experience, even if viewers would rather watch a regular 2D movie.

Beth Pinsker is dealnews’ Editorial Director. She was most recently the Editor of WalletPop.com, and has been a life-long bargain hunter. Follow her on Twitter — @bethpinsker. You can also sign up for an email alert for all dealnews features.

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