Technical Pro

They’re definitely not the best looking shoes around, but if your goal is to get as close as possible to a barefoot running experience, the Zemgear 360 Ninja Split-Toe Running Shoes ($50-$60) are a step in the right direction. Features include a split-toe design, phylon outsole, tech bands in the upper for greater stability, a round-toe pattern for increased flex, and Gecko-Grip rubber pods for traction. Overall, they weigh just 2.5 ounces, or just slightly more than some socks. Source: Zemgear 360 Ninja Split-Toe Running Shoes

the Act ($2.99) by Chillingo Ltd is an original Comedy that will have you hooked from the opening scene.

Step into the shoes of Edgar, a window washer who falls into a tricky situation when his brother falls asleep on the hospital bed of a patient waiting to undergo a brain transplant. As you progress through the interactive scenes, you need to save your brother, save your job, and try to woo the woman of your dreams.

The Act features completely hand-drawn artwork. Although it isn’t Retina resolution, it truly is beautiful and it is coupled with some really funny (and smooth) animations. The artwork and animations combined give the characters a ton of personality, allowing you to be pulled into the story.

As a story, The Act is incredible. The plot is engaging, and it keeps you on your toes as you don’t really know what is going to happen until it does.

As a game, The Act is fun, yet not quite what you would expect. Similar to games like Dragon’s Lair, at certain points in the game you are given control of Edgar. Your job is to control Edgar’s actions and facial expressions by sliding your finger left and right on the screen.

Sliding your finger to the edges of the screen will result in extreme actions, like slapping people in the back or staring awkwardly at people and showing off dance moves. These actions will make Edgar stick out like a sore thumb (which could be good depending on the moment). Keeping your finger close to the center will ensure that Edgar performs less noticeable actions, like smiling or scowling.

The controls may be simple, but the real trick is figuring out when to make Edgar act, and how he should act. To give away a small portion of the story (no spoiler here), Edgar sneaks into a hospital by dressing up like a doctor. From this point forward, you have to act like a doctor and try to fit in. As Chillingo says, “Keep up the act!”

Considering the story, the characters, the artwork, and the interactive nature of the game, The Act is fun and engaging. While it isn’t a traditional game in any sense, it is still enjoyable to say the least. The Act provides a story and cast that you can fall in love with, and while the gameplay elements are minimal, they were implemented well, and that is what makes a game fun.

The Act beckons with its artwork and story, its brotherly duo (very similar to the two main characters in “Of Mice and Men”), and its simple gameplay. Some players will inevitably complain that it is not a “game,” but such gamers will not be appreciating what The Act does offer. Take The Act for what it’s worth, and you will have a product that is worth your time and money. I’m keeping up the act, can you?

• The Act
• Dragon’s Lair

The Act Is An Incredibly Humorous Original Comedy Filled With Lovable Characters is a story byAppAdvice.com

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Jimmy 31 is the utterly curios name of this likewise unique suede shoes. From the rising label Swear, the Jimmy 31 displays a totally compelling and harmonic gray in gray look enhanced by flawless brogue stitches and a midtown-ready gray rubber sole. Not really prepared for the black one, but it’s the perfect accent for your daily refined suited look, a look a man has to covet. $144 [Via]

Top luxury aircraft interiorsTop Luxury aircraft interiors including the business and first class amenities.

When one has the dough to spare, there are possibilities that literally touch the sky. Gone are the days when the basics in air travel were enough to satisfy the high spender; now is the time for indulgence in ultimate luxury. Airline companies have introduced much innovation in their facilities within the aircraft, to separate themselves from competition, and keep their elite customers vouching for their services. After all, it’s now about celebrating and indulging in air traveling. This list features luxurious first-class and business-class seating to satisfy the most demanding travelers. So, take a look at our picks.

First class luxury cabins/suites

1. Singapore Airlines Airbus A380 VIP cabins

Lufthansa Airbus A380 Luxury CabinLufthansa Airbus A380 Luxury Cabin

Much was known within a short time in the world of air travel for the Airbus A380 aircraft, which happened to be the largest passenger aircraft known. And the space and size was indeed put to good use, with the ultimate luxury features in their VIP cabins, which included amenities like personal suites for individuals or couples, leather seating and full sized beds, 23-inch flat screens TV sets, choice of 100 movies and 180 TV programmes to choose from, apart from the personalized butler service which accompanies the gourmet cuisine to opt from.

2. US Airways Envoy suite

US Airways Envoy SuiteUS Airways Envoy Suite

For those who wish to do business, even after covering a long distance in their air, the US Airways Envoy Suite just might be the right choice. Using this concept in numerous aircrafts such as the A330-300, A330-200, B767 of the Airbus, it gives the moneyed executives everything that they ought to wish for, if not more. With extra-wide seats for comfortable seating, the envoy suites are actually miniature versions of personal cabins, with every amenity with a hand’s reach. With a food and beverage menu including oriental cuisines like Chinese, and more common like American ones, passengers have the option of various vegetarian or non-vegetarian delicacies to choose from. Flat screen TVs with a choice of 25 hours of Television programmes, 20 movies, along with 50 CDs and 30 audio channels – all on demand, along with amenities kit which includes everyday supplies are just some of the things the passengers get. Since modern day business travelers are rather tech savvy, there are opportunities to connect ones laptop in the front table itself along with the Wi-Fi internet on board. The different aircrafts we mentioned before have different sitting capacities, but facilities are generally the same.

3. Etihad Airways Diamond 1st class suite

Etihad Airways’ new first class suiteEtihad Airways’ new first class suite

The Diamond 1st class suite on the Etihad airways is the perfect example of what the flavor of luxury is in the Gulf region. The diamond 1st class suite is an exclusive range of seats for the passengers, which can be later converted into a private suite, if one wishes to take rest or require greater privacy. Some of the amenities include the 23-inch TV set, mini-bar, changing room, seat convertible into flat-bed, connectivity ports for laptops and personal communication devices, all for each passenger. Just when you might feel hunger pangs, you would have professionally trained Food and Beverage managers from famous restaurants to cater to your gastronomical needs.

4. jet Airways private cabins

Jet Airways Offers Private Mini CabinsJet Airways Offers Private Mini Cabins

For a decent duration of time, Indian flights didn’t have much to offer on the luxury front, but it all changed when Jet Airways bought in their private cabins. Taking a complete U-turn from the mundane long haul flights in cramped spaces, Jet Airways offered something out of the convention with their private cabins, each with 26 sqft of space. With gourmet cuisine and rare champagnes such as Dom Perignon and Krug on offer, each passenger can enjoy meals for 2 on their long haul flights, all within the classy privacy of their cabins. Other major notables include the 23-inch TV set, 200 hours of movies and programmes to choose from, and when it’s time to take a nap, the seat doubles up as a 7-foot long bed to relax in.

5. Lufthansa 1st class cabins

Lufthansa’s New A380’s First Class cabinLufthansa’s New A380’s First Class cabin

Utilizing 2 of the world’s most eminent jumbo jets, the Boeing 747 and Lufthansa Airbus A380, Lufthansa has other luxury suites on offer, for their elite clientele in their flights. One of the main changes seen in these 1st class cabins are the extra spaces provided for each passenger. The seat which doubles up as a full-sized bed is primarily constant, but the other amenities like the bathroom feature greater space for the dressing, bathing and toilet area, each individually demarked along with greater privacy in each area through installation of sound proof curtains. Other luxuries include the on-demand audio-video capabilities with high resolution screens to absorb all the multimedia around.

6. Singapore Airlines Singapore suite

Singapore Airlines $15K Singapore SuiteSingapore Airlines $15K Singapore Suite

When luxury air travel comes into the picture, it’s almost impossible to keep Singapore Airlines out of the picture, as the state owned airline is known for its modern luxurious amenities on board, such as the Singapore suite. Each passenger is treated to amenities like separate space for sitting on the leather chair, and an individual full-length bed, apart from a separate leather arm-chair, and also ample luggage space in each of these suites. If you have the need to change your dressing, be assured of privacy in your suite which has been given sound-proofing treatments, and designer upholstery for aesthetics. We hear that designer Poltrona Frau has involved in the designing of much of the cabins, especially the full length closets. For dining, there are multiple cuisines on offer along with rare Dom Perignon and Krug champagnes on the menu to opt from.

7. Japan Airlines Jal Private suites

Japan Air Lines Individual Private SuitesJapan Air Lines Individual Private Suites

When it comes to Japanese luxury, one can expect minimalistic designs with hi-tech add-ons, something which is fairly apparent in the Japan Airlines private suites, called ‘Jal’ suites. The compact and multi-functional cabins provide space for each individual passenger to sit across the amply spaced chair, which can then be converted into a full length bed. Multimedia capabilities include the 19-inch screens meant to show you a plethora of movies or live TV, along with options for plugging in your personal computing devices. For couples travelling together, the double accommodation suites are on offer as well. What’s more catching is that all of these capabilities are put in such an economical area of space, without compromising on luxury, though designer leather upholstery might be the only missing factor, which we saw in the earlier options. The aircraft used for housing these suites are the Boeing 777-300 ER planes, known for being highly customizable, and offer plenty of space to innovate with.

8. Emirates Airlines private spa suite

Emirates Airline shower SpasEmirates Airline ‘shower spas’ facility for their first-class passengers

Another luxury offering from the Gulf based airline services is the Emirates Airlines private spa suite, which indeed has something extra to offer its 14 lucky passengers; a complete private spa with whole range of treatments on the menu. One can say that this concept is a serious break from the traditionally known facilities of gourmet cuisines and multimedia loaded cabins, and something which refreshes the passengers after each journey aboard the flights. Each suite, apart from the now usual amenities like entertainment system and private bars, provides for complete privacy in the 1 person shower room, which gives its guests a 5 minute shower, all controlled via a software system with indicators for time. From what we came to know of it, it currently plies on the Dubai-London route, and if opted for, could include a private chauffeured luxury car, to one’s hotel or destination in each of these locations.

9. British Airways First Class Cabins

British Airways Creates New Luxurious First Class CabinBritish Airways Creates New Luxurious First Class Cabin

When talking luxury and sophistication, there is little to keep the British away. The British Airways suites are perfect examples of the style and luxury of the country of origin. Amenities aboard their exclusive B777 aircraft include extra wide convertible beds cum chairs, along with mood lighting, and 15-inch entertainment system. Since the modern day traveler is a gadget friendly one, there is the USB integrated multimedia system, RCA jack, noise cancelling headsets, electronic blinds, along with leather about tables to use at one’s convenience. The décor and ambience carries the apparent theme that one can associate with brands like Aston Martin and Jaguar that have put the European nation on the world luxury map.

10. Singapore Airlines Sky/First class suite

Singapore Airlines New First ClassSingapore Airlines New First Class

Singapore Airlines like most top end brands has more than a single option for its elite customers. It is company which also uses multiple Boeing B777-300 ER and B-747-400 aircrafts, which have the award winning Skysuite and First Class suite for its elite group of customers. very apparent in its style of décor pertaining to the brand, they have characteristic amenities like extra broad beds-cum-chairs, complete entertainment system with 23-inch screens, USB ports, along with general amenities like plush soft linen or bed cover and pillow covers and the optional duvet too. These suites are also sound proof, giving the much needed privacy to the passengers. For those who like enjoying gourmet cuisine, the menu offers a splendid variety of multi-national cuisine to choose from. In case one wants to retire for a much needed nap, the personal turn-down service by the attendants is also an option.

Business Class

1. Cathay Pacific Business Class

Cathay Pacific New business classCathay Pacific New business class

Though similar in some respect to the first class options, but the stature of luxury wasn’t as elite for these Business class seating arrangement of Cathay Pacific. After going through some prominent corporate level changes, facilities like the seating were also changed. Now passengers can dine, sleep, work, read or just relax all within the same seating space, which has been given extra wide designs, with a unique shape to cocoon the guests in comfort, especially on long haul flights. These seats were fitted with entertainment systems including the 15-inch LCD TVs with hundreds of movies and shows on demand, apart from a plethora of choice for music and video games. Also the multi-port USB connectivity helped to plug-in iPads and other personal computing devices, aided by the help from the control panel. When it comes to retiring at the end of the day, a simple few maneuvers could convert the seat into a 2 meter bed to relax on.

2. Delta U.S. lie-flat seats

Delta Luxurious Lie-Flat SeatsDelta Luxurious Lie-Flat Seats

Introduced as a part of the business class, the Delta Airlines lie-flat seats were the first examples in US based flights. The features which set it apart were the reclining seats, adjustable to 3 comfort positions and conversion to a 6 foot 3 inch bed, entertainment system with fold out video monitor, foldable and height adjustable dinner tables, plus personal storage spaces for bags, shoes and other luggage. Also, the entertainment system allowed passengers on-demand movies and TV, along with a plethora of 12 video games to get entertained on. There was also a built-in system with which passengers could directly connect to the main aisle for services of the airline staff, without disturbing any of the fellow passengers. On the whole, it came with modern and stylish shaping, and the airline branding colors of blue and silver.

3. Air France Business Class

Air France Business-class seatAir France Business-class seat

This option might not have been as detailed as some of the other business class aircrafts, but certainly was a fair competition to the others. This class of seats was actually re-introduced with enhancements over previous designs with new variety for customers’ dining, greater comfort in each seat with broader seats and fixed foot rests, and the 15-inch screens for entertainment and multimedia usage. The control panel too saw some more practically viable changes suited to the target passengers. Check-out more about Air France business class seats here.

4. Qantas Business Class seating

Qantas Business ClassQantas Business Class

In the age of cut-throat competition in every industry, Qantas Airlines went on a spree to differentiate itself from much of the competition. It was one of the first to offer designer made unisex sleeping clothes and toiletries kit for the passengers amongst other amenities. The seats were however generally spaced out, with a very soothing black and maroon color combination for design. The flexible seating arrangement meant that consumers could stretch out to take naps on long haul flights when needed.

5. American Airlines Next Generation business class seats

American Airline’s Next Generation Business ClassAmerican Airline’s Next Generation Business Class

Plying on Boeing 767-300 and 777 aircrafts, the next generation of American Airlines Business class seats, got the much needed futuristic upgrades it lacked. At the core, the concept was same, but the ergonomics changed with a more suitable set of up gradations, including the in-flight on demand video entertainment, overhead bins, the extendable, or rather the convertible seatings with possibilities for changing from seats to a make-shift bed, along with the extendable tray. Also each passenger was given his/her own amenities kit for keeping up their health and overall comfort.

6. Swiss Business Class seats

SWISS Business SeatSWISS Business Seat

From what we know of, these seats were one of the first to be introduced anywhere in the world, with the theme of ‘Bed above the clouds’. What this meant, was referring to the flexible seating positions, which each passenger could adjust his/her seat to, as per needs; from soft water-bed like texture to a firm one, everything was now in the control of the passenger. Also the foot rests weren’t ordinary, as they had multi-speed foot massagers so that passengers could relax reading or entertaining themselves on the multimedia system aboard their flight. There was device integration too with USB connectivity, and iPod socket along with noise cancellation headphones for an optimum experience. Even the aesthetically designed side panels for stationary were new too. Check-out more about Swiss business class seating here.

7. Asiana Airlines Oz Quadra Smartium business seat

Asiana Airlines’ OZ Quadra Smartium business seatAsiana Airlines’ OZ Quadra Smartium business seat

Introduced by the Korean owned Business air carrier Asiana Airlines, these new seats were a fresh and rather stylish additions for the premium segment of business travelers. The name itself is quite the mystery, which later unfolds into various interesting aspects; ‘Oz’ stood for the airline’s code, ‘Quadra’ stood for the 4-new additions to the seating arrangements, and ‘Smartium’ referred to the smart design of the new seats. These 4 new additions included the 74-inch long flat-bed seats, privacy features, direct access to the main aisle to contact service staff members, and the staggered layout which offered space, as well as the advantage of an optimum number of seats in various sections. Other amenities included the storage space for guest luggage and stationery, foldable dining and cocktail tables, power outlets and even USB ports with the multimedia system on board.

Funny Facebook & Twitter statuses are a great way to brighten up your social networking profile page. If you are looking for Facebook Status then your search ends here, you have landed on the right page. This article is all about very funny Facebook status messages that have been written by real people. You will find here all Funniest Facebook Status, just read the full collection of the funny facebook statuses.

• decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
• One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
• When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
• I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
• sometimes, not remembering mey be the better.
• X says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
• X is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube… This could take a while.
• X is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house.
• What is fat, ginger and pregnant? Nothing..
• slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.
• wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime.
• X is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
• People say that love is in every corner……gosh! maybe i’m moving in circles..
• Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
• Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
• WARNING: Objects in mirror are fatter than they appear.
• ║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95
• Dear Santa, let me explain…
• I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.
• My wife said I’m too immature and if I don’t grow up it’s going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.
• If guys had periods, they’d brag about the size of their tampons.
• Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married.
• Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
• Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
• Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.
• ٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶
• _̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡
• if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP
• scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.
• ̿̿̿ ̿’ ̿’̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ this is a stick-up… give me ALL yo [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]!
• Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
• The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
• Boys are like baby diapers when they get to be filled with shit they are thrown to be replaced.
• i’ve yet to meet a woman who got pregnant from swallowing.
• Cut here —————–✄———————-
• Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart.
• I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
• People who write diet books live off the fat of the land.
• Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
• Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet.
• best Friends Listen to what you dont say.
• Just wanted to let you know that you are my BFBFF… Best Facebook Friend Forever..
• So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.
• X thinks that Facebook is the compost heap for my brain.
• Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don’t know when.
• You miss 100 percent of the shots u never take.
• Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
• I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.
• Sometimes? Late at night? I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.
• I guess if you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless, huh?
• X thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
• Alcohol does NOT make you fat…it makes you lean…against tables,chairs,walls, floors and ….Ugly people!!!
• what has two ears and cant hear? —————–.> GRANDPA
• I’m not a racer….But i can fly.
• press the star below and watch it glow
• ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ click star then up arrow to left to reveal status.
• I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.
• Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
• X is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of “liking” my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I’m awesome..
• Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.
• I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.
• X just received a coupon in the mail: buy one sock, get one free! While socks last.
• X believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.
• ¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ
• Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
• oh I’m sorry! i didn’t realise you were giving me a dirty look…i just thought you were ugly like that all the time!!
• wants to merge MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.
• X says don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
• Is anyone going to put anything funny on here?????
• If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each Other.
• eat eat and eat….but don’t eat my brain.
• I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she’s been giving me lately!
• a guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local primary school’s pool. I went away and came back with a cup of water….. Is that wrong?
• ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
• All men are born free and equal. If they go and get married, that’s their own fault.
• too cool for school.
• trying to think of clever things to say after inhaling from a helium balloon.
• the kid next door’s imaginary friend.
• –^v–^v–^v–^v-_____^v–^v–^v– For a second there, I was bored to death.
• definitely not watching what not to wear.
• forcing my dog to learn how to google.
• kissing a girl and may or may not be liking it.
• Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with “according to the prophecy”
• X is Loading ████████████ 99%
• Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
• U have 10 Fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one. Fish cant Drown.
• X went to the book store earlier to buy a ‘Where’s Wally’ book. When I got there, I couldn’t find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played.
• Hi, my name is Damimeve. The ‘mime’ is silent.
• I’ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming “CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!” when they have nightmares.
• In an interview, “I can multitask housework with facebook!”
• X is coloring on your wall! ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>
• never judges a book by its cover. She uses the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
• a day late and a dollar short.
• Insert coin to view my status message.
• If somebody offers you a lifetime supply of candy and there is just one piece, don’t eat it: It’s probably poison.
• We have so much in common. You want to travel,I want you to go .
• happy that you finally broke up with that slut. Now I can tell you VIA facebook update that I boinked her.
• seen pictures of you naked on the internet.
• remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.
• > $20 in my bank acct. Drinks on you home.
• 20/20 hearing!

I know the world isn’t going 2 end in 2012 cuz my yogurt expires in 2013!

I like to name my ipod ‘Titanic’ so when it says ‘Syncing Titanic’ i click cancel and it makes me feel like a hero.

Whats the difference between Justin Bieber And a Snickers bar? A snIckers bar has nuts.

Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like

Is wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?

I love it when my computer says ” are you sure you want to continue unprotected ”

Roses are redish, Violets are blueish, if it weren’t for Christmas, we would all be Jewish!

why do we need school???
music~we have YouTube for that.
Spanish ~i watch Dora.
English ~everything is shortened anyway (brb,idk,lol).
geography~i will buy a globe.
history~they are all dead anyway.
math~that is why we have the calculator.
spelling~we have spell check on the computer.

People make the world go around but at some point don’t you wish it were flat so all the idiots would keep walking and never come back?

NEVER trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.

I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, “Hello?” As if the bad guy is gonna be like, “Yeah, I`m in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?”

what’s the difference between puberty & a water bottle? a water bottle hit Justin Bieber first! (;

Going to McDonalds for salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.

Roses are Red, Nuts are brown, Skirts go Up, Pants go Down, Body to Body, Skin to Skin, When it is Stiff, Stick it In, The Longer its In, The stronger it Gets, It goes in Dry, Comes out Wet, It comes out dripping,and it starts to Sag, Its not what you Think …its a Teabag xD

Mrs. Bin Laden just updated her Facebook status to single.

Sometimes your Knight in shinning armour is just an idiot wrapped in tinfoil.

We guys have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see us without an erection, make us a sandwich !

Me and my mom were shopping for new Cd’s and she asked me..
Mom: honey, Who’s your favorite artist?
Me: Eminem
Mom: The candy?
Me: no the rapper
Mom:What’s so special good about Candy Wrappers?

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrehea…does that mean one person enjoys it?

status: I can’t log into facebook

A bug just landed on my computer screen and my first reaction was on try and scare it away with the curser

*BLOND GOES TO THE DOCTOR TO FIND OUT IF SHE IS PREGNENT*
Doctor: your pregnent
Blond: *smiles*
Doctor: your having twins
Blond: *crys*
Doctor: is’ant that good?
Blond: i dont know who the father is for the other baby
Doctor: LUCKY IM A BRUNETTE !!!!!!!

Your make-up looks so pretty:) lol jk it looks like a crayola raped your face!!!

My friends status said, “standing on the edge of a cliff :/”…so i poked him.

Have you ever looked at someone and thought to yourself “Dude, that’s the sperm that won???”

Sometimes i fill up my blow up doll with helium so its playing hard to get.

i know three facts about you, one you can’t say M without your lips touching, two your trying it now and you look like an idiot alien, three now your smiling

Sorry, Ke$ha the party dont stop till I walk in.

Last Night I Dreamt I was Eating A Giant Marshmallow……..When I Woke Up My Pillow Was Gone.

How much coke has Charlie Sheen done?……………enough to kill 2 1/2 men….

I love how justin bieber can hit high notes but not puberty!

Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours, belongs in the zoo, don’t be mad, i’ll be there, not in the cage, but laughing at you.

Relationships are like Tom & Jerry: They tease each other, knock down each other, irritate each other, but can’t live without each other.

I WISH i could be a status, so you could LIKE me .

I tried to log on to Facebook. It said, “Cookies are required to operate.” I thought to myself, “Me too, Facebook. Me too.”

Got into a fight with my alarm clock this morning it wanted me to wake up i disagreed now the alarms broken and im wide awake…not sure who won.

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was “You’ll never find anyone like me again!” I’m thinking, “I should hope not! If I don’t want you, why would I want someone like you.

A kid got bad marks in his test, he showed his test to his mom. His mom said ” what is this”? He answered teachers star stickers were finished so she gave me a full moon!!!

Please copy and paste this to your status if you know someone, or have been affected by someone who needs a punch in the face. People who need a punch in the face affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for someone who deserves a punch in the face, except for a punch in the face. But we can still raise awareness!

One day a chicken croxed the road and met james bond and said whats your name?? ….bond james bond… whats yours??..ken chick ken!

Behind every great woman is a man looking at her ass!

Don’t ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself

Michael over at A Continuous Lean has started a new segment titled “the ACL Made in Italy Tour” and the first piece covers the Gucci loafer, one of the most iconic shoes known to man. MW goes to the outskirts of Florence to the factory where it all takes place, giving us a look into the loafer-making process. The inside is opposite of what you’d expect and Michael puts it best — “It is the perfect marriage of technology and traditional craft with a seasoned group of shoemakers, sewers and cutters all under one roof.” The tools are old school but the space is so well-organized and the process, well, it’s as efficient as can be for a shoe so timeless.

Head over to ACL to read the full story.

Imagine your running late for a Job Interview and you run down the steps just in time to catch the subway, Lucky for you there’s a seat. You get on board and sit down, you look down and see how dirty your shoes are. At that moment you realize your introuble no rag or towel nearby what do you do?

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-1lao5UUac

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXgoJ0f5EsQ

Get up now
Get up now
Get up out of bed
Wash your face
Brush your teeth
Comb your sleepy head
Here’s your clothes
and your shoes
Hear the words I said
Get up now
Get up and make your bed
Are you hot?
Are you cold?
Are you wearing that?
Where’s your books and your lunch and your homework at?
Grab your coat and your gloves and your scarf and hat
Don’t forget you gotta feed the cat
Eat your breakfast
The experts tell us it’s the most important meal of all
Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall
Please remember the orthodon’tist will be seeing you at three today?
Don’t forget your piano lesson is this afternoon
So you must play
Don’t shovel
Chew slowly
But hurry
The bus is here
Be careful
Come back here
Did you wash behind your ears?
Play outside
Don’t play rough
Would you just play fair?
Be polite
Make a friend
Don’t forget to share
Work it out
Wait your turn
Never take a dare
Get along
Don’t make me come down there
Clean your room
Fold your clothes
Put your stuff away
Make your bed
do it now
Do we have all day?
Were you born in a barn?
Would you like some hay
Can you even hear a word I say?
Answer the phone
Get off the phone
Don’t sit so close
Turn it down
No texting at the table
No more computer time tonight
Your iPod’s my iPod if you don’t listen up
Where you going and with whom and what time do you think you’re coming home?
Saying thank you, please, excuse me
Makes you welcome everywhere you roam
You’ll appreciate my wisdom
Someday when you’re older and you’re grown
Can’t wait ’til you have a couple little children of your own
You’ll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly
But right now
I thank you NOT to roll your eyes at me
Close your mouth when you chew
Would appreciate
Take a bite
Maybe two
Of the stuff you hate
Use your fork
Do not you burp
Or I’ll set you straight
Eat the food I put upon your plate
Get an A, Get the door
Don’t get smart with me
Get a Grip
Get in here I’ll count to 3
Get a job
Get a life
Get a PhD
Get a dose of…
I don’t care who started it
You’re grounded until your 36
Get your story straight
And tell the truth for once for heaven’s sake
And if all your friends jumped off a cliff
Would you jump too?
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said at least a thousand times before that
You’re too old to act this way
It must be your father’s DNA
Look at me when I am talking
Stand up straight when you walk
A place for everything
And everything must be in place
Stop crying or I’ll give you something real to cry about
Oh!
Brush your teeth
Wash your face
Get your PJs on
Get in bed
Get a hug
Say a prayer with Mom
Don’t forget
I love you
**KISS**
And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom’s work never ends
You don’t need the reason why
Because
Because
Because
Because
I said so
I said so
I said so
I said so
I’m the Mom
The mom
The mom
The mom
The mom
Ta-da

via 5 Basic Improv Rules.